IS THIS A RED FLAG OR I AM JUST OVER THINKING?

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 Please Keep Me Anonymous I met my boyfriend 2yrs ago at my previous work place, we got talking and he said he like me and he asked me out on a date, but i have a policy, i don't date my colleagues at work, this was in my head so i wasn't even catching any feelings but then we still stayed as friends. He wanted to be very close, he wanted to know more about me but i just kept him in the colleague relationship zone.  Few months after, i left the work place without informing him, he was disappointed at the fact that i didn't regard him as much as he does for me, i apologized and we continued talking, he asked me out again and this time he wasn't giving me any breathing space so i decided to give it a try. To tell the truth i was finding it difficult to trust him, i tried to open up to him like real couples should but i couldn't although i just broke up with m ex at the time so that must be the reason few weeks into the relationship i ghosted him. He started to look fo...
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Am I cursed?


 Please Keep Me Anonymous

For some reason the opposite gender has been attracted to me ever since i was 6, i was smart so i just knew if a boy, guy or man tries to make any suspicious move on me, had the time even my parents never told us things about sex education.

when i was 6, my Dad friends came around, my sister and i came out to the living room to greet them but then they started asking us questions about school and all, that was how we got used to them whenever they came around. There was this particular tall friend of my Dad who always blows me kiss whenever they are leaving, i didnt feel comfortable about it but he was nice so it didnt bother me much

Few days after , this particular man came alone without the other friend because they were two of them, he came to our house alone with snacks, he gave it to me and asked me to bring my home work so he can put me through. My dad was around but since we were with his friend, he just continued what he was doing.

All of a sudden he started tickling me, trying to hug me and squizing me in between his legs, i hijacked myself from him and left to my room. 

Around this period as well, my parents were not around, my mum instructed a guy in our area to help her fill the house with water, our house doesn't have a borehole at the time, he came and started fetching the water. few minutes after he asked my sister to help him get something outside, then he enetered our room and asked that i should help him look at what is happening to him, he started to unzip his trousers, my instinct kicked and i started to shout, i dont want, i dont want, my scream got him scared and he never came back again, he was probably scared i would tell my mum.

This happened with different people whom my parent trust, two of them were pastors who  tried to force themselves on me on different occassion although i was 12 when that happened, God was just by my side, he gave me the strenght to escape from their grip. These are people my parent trust us with, they come in and out of our house as they wish. The other ones happened when i was in secondary school with some of my male teachers.

They didnt have their way with me but it traumatised me, i am in my early 20's now but i cant trust any guy, no matter how good you are, once to tell me you are interested in having a relationship with me, i begin to think he has a hidden agenda and i begin to stay away from him.

i never told anyone about this as i never had the courage to, my parent were disciplinarians, i couldnt say a word to them. 

Please i need advice, what can i do, i really want to get married.

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